“And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.”
Luke 15:20 (KJV)
Some of us learned early that no one was coming. If something needed doing, we did it. If we fell apart, we did it quietly and got back up. Needing people was a luxury, and a risk.
There is real grief in that. Self-sufficiency is often the scar tissue of an old abandonment. It gets praised as strength, but underneath it is a child who stopped asking because asking did not work.
The prodigal son had tried to be self-sufficient too. He took his inheritance and went to make his own way. When it fell apart, he still planned to earn his place back: make me as one of thy hired servants. Even in repentance, he was trying not to need too much.
But the father would not let him walk the whole way alone. While the son was still a great way off, still rehearsing his speech, the father ran.
It may take time to believe that someone would run toward you. That is all right. For today, it is enough to say honestly: I have carried this alone for a long time, and I am tired.
Sit with this
What have you been carrying alone because asking for help once cost you too much?
Prayer
Father, I have learned to make my own way, and I am tired. I am still a great way off, still rehearsing how to earn my place. Run to me anyway.
